Mangled Bodies, Glowing Strangely
I used to be pretty negative about going to the gym. I thought gym people were too image-focused and could probably get better results by doing something fun instead– like playing tennis, swimming, or just raking leaves. Anything that wasn’t all about putting big headphones on and looking at their biceps in the mirror. The whole gym environment seemed so cold to me—the walls of TV’s, the smell of cleaning solution, and 2010’s greatest hits remixed yet again. It seemed like the most unnatural place to get healthy. And that you would pay to have this experience just seemed ludicrous!
But now in my late 20’s, against all of my younger self’s ideals, I have a gym membership. And it’s not to some local mom and pop fitness operation. It’s to the McDonald’s of fitness gyms: Planet Fitness. I know. But I also know that you are much more gracious than my younger self. I confess that he’s always been a bit too judgmental for his own good. I think he just couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have his body break down despite his efforts to help it. But I know now, so I go to Planet Fitness most days, doing the same stretches I’ve been doing for the last year to loosen up this ‘ol bag of bones. Then I use a couple of machines to strengthen my core, and try not to notice the people around me too much. But I often do.
The rogue grunts, the selfies, the machine hogs. When I notice people too much, I begin to be judgmental again and that’s no fun. I go to the gym to be zen and healthy, not distracted and judgy. Ironically, much of Planet Fitness’s signage articulates that it’s a judgment free zone, so when I am being a judgy-mc-judger-pants I am clearly violating their rules. I do think their rules are good, so I’ve been praying for the people I notice instead. In this new kind of noticing, my gaze softens and I start to hope they feel loved and experience health.
A peculiar thing I’ve noticed as I’ve grown in noticing: a lot of people do the same odd stretches and workouts that I do. Maybe they have to do specific maneuvers just to feel like they can get through the day like me. Maybe they’d rather be doing something fun instead, but faithfully go to the gym for more targeted workouts like me. Maybe they wish it didn’t take so much work to be healthy, but try to stay hopeful despite it all like me. Maybe we’re all just trying to get better, the best way we know how. I haven’t found healing yet, but I’m praying that everyone I notice finds their healing.
My friend Dave was healed last month. He said he believes in hell because he was in it– until a man at a campground asked him to renounce a bunch of demons living inside of him. I asked him what it’s like having no back pain anymore. Dave’s had back pain for as long as I’ve known him so I was elated he was finally free from it. He clarified that his back still very much hurt, just that now it’s not affecting his mind. It no longer has the power to produce anger and sadness in his heart. Just hearing about his healing has helped me notice my pain differently. Less condemnation, more patience. Less anger, more rest. Less reaction, more prayer.
My friend Dave is a mangled body, glowing strangely. This term was coined by my favorite kinda sorta chaplain John a few years back when we were talking about how the Bible says Christ will have scars in Heaven. The Bible says Christ’s wounds from the crucifixion will still be part of him even after everything is made right. It made John and I wonder if we too will have any of our scars too in Heaven. He joked about how we’d be a bunch of mangled bodies, glowing strangely. I really liked that idea. While I don’t know what heaven is like yet, it’s kind of fun to think about a place where we have scars but are fully healed nonetheless. If I could learn anything from Dave, I think that kind of place has room for me today.
To all my friends at the local Planet Fitness. I’m so glad you showed up again to move towards your healing. We’re all connected even if we aren’t talking. We’re all just trying to get better, the best way we know how. I pray you and I both can uproot the judgments that come from shame. That we can then allow ourselves to receive light and be a blessing to others. That this Planet Fitness would be filled with mangled bodies, somehow, and against all odds, glowing strangely.
